vol2 - Page 87
Page 87
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fu!o in what I now realize was a foolish attempt to prove to
others what I already knew to be true I decided to stop smoking
marijuana for six months.
49. Shortly after I stopped smoking marijuana, I
experienced a prolonged attacks Whatever progress I had made
vanished and I was back at square one. My back muscles began
..... to spasm and I lost control over them° I could not even sit
ups much less walk. After four months of not smoking marijuana
! had lost control of my hands, arms, feet, and legs. I was
constantly suffering spasms. My use of Valium increased
constantly until i was taking 120 mg daily, a massive dose.
Despite this high dose, Valium provided me with no real relief
from my symptoms°
50. I began to realize that 7[ was chemically depen-
dent on Valium. I had become an addict_ This realization
startled me and I stopped taking Valium0 I experienced ter-
rible withdrawal from this _safe _, "medically accepted" drug.
I completely lost all interest in life and in living° I was
sleepless, restless_ and constantly agitated. I fell into a
dark depression; my mood shifts became even more erratic and
pronounced. I was enraged by the simplest thing. My spasms
became intensely painful.
51. When ! could no longer sit up I started smoking
marijuanas not because I believed it could help but because I
wanted to get high° I wanted to get beyond myself° I was
becoming desperate°
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