vol2 - Page 254

 86. Low blood counts also make clotting difficult.
 For many months during this period we lived in constant fear
 that Josh would fall and bruise himself° Even a small bruise,
 the doctors' warned_ could result in serious, perhaps fatal
 internal bleeding_
 87. As Josh's blood counts declined, his chemo-
 therapy treatments became more and more erratic. Chemotherapy
 is a harsh medical treatment and it cannot be administered
 safely unless a patient has an adequate blood count. As Josh_s
 counts got lower and lower_ we had to skip scheduled chemo _
 therapy treatments_ He was simply too weak to survive them.
 88. During this time we could never travel more than
 an hour away from the hospital for fear Josh would need
 emergency treatment°
 89. Following Josh's second lung operations we met
 with his doctozs, a nurse and a social worker to discuss Josh's
 future. The doctor reluctantly recommended continuing Josh's
 chemotherapy treatments° The social worker and the nurse were
 less certain.
 90. We tried to get the doctor to be specific about
 Josh's chances for survival. After some vague commentss he
 confessed that even under the best of circumstances_ Josh had
 about a one percent chance of surviving for five years.
 91. During this conversationp the doctor noted that
 while a tumor was removed during Josh's last operation there
 was no evidence of more cancer or additional spreading. Almost
 as an afterthought he told us it was possible Joshes body was
 i ................................